It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize