shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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