at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize