Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
