You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
