Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
