Say something about gay babies.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
