only if we run a train.
done.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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