Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize