i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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