Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
