the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
