I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
