Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.

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(415): View more from California

I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.

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(530): View more from California

I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.

Fav 19 1634 6575
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes

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(719): View more from Colorado

Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?

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