I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
