Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
