It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I currently don't understand fingers.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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