Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
