I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
