Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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