There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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