You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
