So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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