u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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