I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
