ugly people sure do ruin things
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
