ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I understand Curling. That high.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
