I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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