Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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