was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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