D3 body, D1 cock
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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