i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
