Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
