guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude i'm inner monologue high
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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