you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize