Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
