It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My life is pants optional.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
