The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
