Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
