Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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