we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
