when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Randomize
