your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just pee around me
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Randomize
