i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
