i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She's the barista slut.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize