Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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