Sponge bath it is.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize