that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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