quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
