I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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