the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
