just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
