but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
