your room smells of hookers.
And success
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
