You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
