You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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