Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Even my vagina gasped.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
