Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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