You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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