I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
