The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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