Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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