Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
