I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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