Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
