I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
