please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Less talking, more tequila
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize