Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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