just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
