I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
