And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
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