By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
