Just mADE A PArabola og urine
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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