White coat. Heels.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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