I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize
