Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
