well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
